I am writing a book to explain what domestic violence is for those who want to understand abuse.

As I started writing, I had to stop to write this blog because I was reminded of just how isolating and confusing abuse is. I remembered a time when I didn’t understand what had happened to me and I certainly didn’t know who I could talk to or who I could trust. I was also reminded that I can write about being abused in the past tense, but for many people who are being abused now this is real, confusing and painful.

I am not telling my story, however, this will be a reference book.

I know the subject matter, so writing it is easy. But I have to admit that the content is emotionally draining. The thing that struck me is that if this were any other subject, I could talk to anyone about how I was finding it draining to put what I know onto paper.

The fact that only a few people will understand why it’s emotionally draining reminded me of how isolated an abused person is in an abusive relationship.

I am fortunate that I am an expert both from experience and from what I have learned from others. I have a community of friends and acquaintances with whom I can share these feelings. These people not only empathise but understand.

I wanted to write this blog as a reminder that domestic violence thrives in silence and it’s only by talking about it you can learn what is happening to you and get the advice you need.

If you cannot talk to anybody in your life then you can call 1800 RESPECT.

Abusers have a way of isolating their victims and becoming their only friend. 1800 RESPECT is a great resource for anyone trying to navigate the psychological and emotional terrain that comes from being in an abusive relationship. You won’t have the fear of trusting the wrong person and you will have the confidence of knowing the person you are talking to knows what you are going through and how to help you. They know that domestic violence can happen to anybody that nobody is immune. The counsellors come from a place of compassion and empathy.

Remember you are worth caring about.

For me I can go back to writing my book safe in the knowledge that I have people who support me and are there for me, but most importantly I am safe and I want that for anyone who is being abused.

With love and respect,


Lisa McAdams

About Lisa: Lisa is a survivor of domestic violence who shares her story openly; along with knowledge and understanding of abuse and her experience from her time in corporate to help companies develop an organisational culture of empathy and understanding.

She helps by bringing insights on this complex and emotional subject, ensuring managers understand the issue, the signs and how to communicate with those impacted by domestic violence.

Lisa is passionate about educating workplaces so they can ensure women in abusive relationships remain in the workplace. Because employment improves outcomes and can ultimately save lives.

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